Healing and the Brain: Basic Tools for Emotional Regulation
Is it just me or is the pace of life and the expectation for engagement and “connection” getting out of hand? In this season I’m craving simplicity. Healing is all about true connection—not stretching yourself thin and giving your brain way more than it can process. Today we’re going to talk about connecting the right and left hemisphere of the brain.
I’m going to share the Liv notes version on neuroplasticity to give you some understanding and a couple simple, valuable, and free tools at the end to help you feel more emotionally grounded and manage stress with a holistic mindset. In my experience as a birth worker, and just being a human, these have been my go-tos.
Let’s kick it off with an intro to the limbic system
First you need to know you have a limbic system. It’s a group of brain structures whose collective job is to process emotions, form memory, and regulate behavior. It helps your brain and body respond to important experiences.
You might’ve heard of or tried EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro).
What you need to know:
The right hemisphere of the brain is connected to emotion, body sensations, intuition, and nonverbal memory—it stores the emotional and sensory fragments of trauma.
The left hemisphere of the brain is more associated with logic, language, analysis, and sequencing—it wants to make sense of things and organize events logically.
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, meaning it activates both the left and right hemispheres of the brain in a rhythmic, alternating pattern—typically through eye movements, auditory tones, or physical taps. By engaging both sides of the brain, EMDR supports the healthy processing of trauma, helping emotional responses become more steady, integrated, and less overwhelming.
Not-so-wise-man
One of my favorite books I read every winter—because let’s face it, winter can feel like a survival situation—is called “Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why” by Laurence Gonzales. Humans are classified as homo sapiens. Latin translation: homo means man, sapiens means wise. Wise man.
In his chapter How Accidents Happen, Gonzales says, “If you distill all of the psychology, cognitive science, and neuroscience of the last hundred years or so, you’ll find we’re always Homo but not so sapiens. Joseph LeDoux [neuroscientist] concluded that, ‘people normally do all sorts of things for reasons that they are not consciously aware of…and that one of the main jobs of consciousness is to keep our life tied together into a coherent story, a self-concept’” (p. 90-91).
It’s our brain’s job to make sense of things—to categorize and create narratives that we can apply to explain the world and our place in it to ourselves. When we experience a traumatic event, the emotional brain takes over and stores it as traumatic memory. EMDR is effective because of the brain’s ability to change, adapt, and rewire itself. This is referred to as neuroplasticity.
This means the brain is not fixed/static—new neural pathways can be formed, and existing ones can be strengthened or weakened based on how often they're used. When both side of the brain are engaged, you’re then able to begin processing a trauma event and move out of the stress response to start thinking and behaving a healthier way.
Mental models
This is relevant in the conversation of why we believe what we believe—discussed in my guide to faith-based decision-making for health—because we pride ourselves on our capacity to think about what we think about. To self-reflect. But we don’t do this all of the time.
Gonzales said, “Researchers point out that people tend to take any information as confirmation of their mental models” (p. 87). I think algorithms are a great example of of this. We assume everyone thinks the way we do and sees the same information we do. But it’s called a “social feed” for a reason—algorithms are feeding you information based on tons of data collected on you. (In my post on biblical perspective for holistic healing I get into how we are socialized.)
Gonzales describes how we make a mental map of the world—
“As Joseph LeDoux put it, ‘People don’t come preassembled, but are glued together by life.’ Like the immune system, the emotional system evolves continuously, taking experiences and situations and attaching emotional value to them in subtle gradations of risk and reward.
Children begin learning even before birth, and near the end of pregnancy, their brains may be forming as many as 250,000 new nerve cells a minute…Once infants begin moving about in the world, they engage in a process of trial and error by which they find out how much risk they can take to reap a given amount of reward. Every experience adds to the body of knowledge and shapes future behavior” (p. 61).
It’s pretty remarkable we start learning in the womb. The things you do repeatedly (consciously, or unconsciously out of reaction), and the words and way in which you speak to yourself actively shape your brain’s structure and function. Think of how a stream carves a path over time. But remember neuroplasticity? God made the brain remarkably adaptable and resilient. This is good news for healing—because it means that past patterns don’t have to define your future.
Tools to self-regulate, process, and manage traumatic events or stressful circumstances in a healthy, holistic way:
-
Trauma—a deeply distressing or overwhelming experience that can have a significant and lasting negative impact on a person's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Experience of a threat or perceived threat to life or safety.
Vicarious trauma (also known as secondary trauma or compassion fatigue)—direct or indirect exposure to someone else's trauma that impacts your own physical and/or psychological well-being.
Unfortunately these are common human experiences. But. There are things you can do.
The first is to move out of a victim mentality and honestly, the biggest step towards this is forgiveness. That is a whole other topic, but I promise it’s the most powerful thing you can do for yourself, especially if you’ve experienced trauma because of someone else’s choices. Unforgiveness and bitterness only poisons you. You might’ve had no control over some of the things that have happened to you in life, but only you are responsible for your response. That’s a really difficult and painful lesson and it feels so unjust.
Nobody deserves forgiveness (not even you or me! Eph. 1:7). And forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation—letting someone back into your life who has hurt you and proven to be untrustworthy (see Safe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend). Forgiveness is a choice to move forward.
-
Journaling is a powerful tool. And all you need is a pen and paper. Writing (not on a device) engages both hemispheres of the brain.
Journaling gives the mind a safe outlet to externalize internal chaos. When we experience trauma, our thoughts and emotions can become tangled—replaying memories, cycling through shame or fear, or staying stuck in patterns we don’t fully understand. Writing offers a structured way to slow down and witness what’s happening inside us. It helps move unprocessed experiences from the reactive, emotional centers of the brain into areas responsible for reflection and meaning-making.
Research shows that expressive writing can reduce the intensity of trauma-related symptoms, improve emotional clarity, and even lower stress hormone levels. You don’t perfect grammar or profound insight—just your raw self, your honesty. Putting thoughts on paper allows the body and brain to begin integrating those experiences, which is a necessary step in healing.
Journaling can also:
Create a sense of safety and control over your own narrative
Reveal patterns or triggers you might not notice otherwise
Encourage self-compassion by giving your pain a voice
Make space for gratitude, hope, and reframing
Help you connect with God through reflection or prayer
In short, journaling doesn’t erase trauma—but it helps untangle it, giving your body and brain the tools to make peace with your story, rather than stay trapped inside it.
What Does “Integration” Mean When Processing Trauma?
When we talk about integration in the context of trauma, it means helping the brain and body connect, make sense of, and organize an experience that once felt overwhelming, fragmented, or stuck.
Traumatic experiences are typically stored in the brain differently than ordinary memories. Instead of being processed and filed away, they can stay “trapped” in the body and nervous system—replaying as flashbacks, emotional reactivity, or physical symptoms. These fragments can live in the right hemisphere of the brain (which deals with emotions, body sensations, and nonverbal memory), while the left side (which handles logic, language, and sequencing) may not fully process or understand what happened.
Integration means bringing these pieces back together. It allows your emotional, sensory, and cognitive systems to talk to each other—so your body and brain realize: The event is over. You are safe now.
Journaling helps this happen by:
Naming the experience (language helps organize the brain’s memory systems)
Connecting thoughts with emotions and body sensations
Creating coherence, so the story has a beginning, middle, and end (instead of feeling like it’s still happening)
In essence, integration is the process of turning a traumatic event from something that controls you into something you can hold, understand, and move forward from. It helps you live in the present with more wholeness and less reactivity.
-
Bilateral stimulation
As you walk, your arms and legs move in a left-right-left pattern. This cross-body right-left motion engages both hemispheres of the brain, encouraging coordination, emotional processing, and nervous system regulation.Regulates the nervous system
Walking supports the parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) nervous system, helping shift the body out of fight-or-flight mode.Releases built-up stress hormones
Movement lowers cortisol (stress hormone) and boosts endorphins and serotonin, which naturally improve mood and reduce anxiety.Supports mental clarity and reflection
Gentle movement frees up mental space—many people find it easier to process emotions or come to insights while walking than while sitting still.Connects body and mind
Walking is a simple way to reconnect to your physical body—important when stress or trauma leaves you feeling disconnected or dissociated.Encourages mindfulness
Walking slowly and with awareness invites presence—helping anchor you in the here and now rather than in anxious thoughts or emotional loops.Attainable and sustainable
It doesn’t require a gym, special gear, or a big time commitment. Even 10–15 minutes can have noticeable emotional benefits.Provides a change of environment
Stepping outside helps shift your sensory input (light, air, scenery), which can reduce emotional intensity and provide a sense of groundedness (literally, see post on earthing). Not to mention the natural benefits of sunlight!Practical tip for mamas: If you have kids and can’t step away for 10-20 minutes, invite them on an “adventure walk” (all about the packaging haha). Not as relaxing as a walk on your own but sometimes it can help everyone feel calmer and more grounded. I’ve found this is the best way to calm a screaming child, even babies.
-
If you’re unable to walk or have a child who is unable to walk, try a therapy ball.
If you’re an adult and you’re able, you can sit on the ball with your feet flat on the floor. If balance is an issue, position yourself near a wall you can reach with flat palms. Engage your core to help you move side-to-side and back-and-forth.
I’ve worked with children who lost the ability to walk and control their body due to autoimmune conditions and other illnesses. In this case I would sit on the edge of a bed or chair with the ball between my knees for more control. Once the ball was stabilized I’d help the child onto the ball so they were sitting with their legs in front of them and slightly apart for balance. With my hands on their waist I could move the ball gently side-to-side and back-and-forth, providing sensory input and mimicking natural rhythmic movement patterns. (This is also a valuable tool for strengthening a weak core.)
-
Music for bilateral stimulation
Bilateral music can simulate the effect of physical bilateral stimulation if movement isn’t an option.
Try binaural beats for a reset. Binaural essentially means both ears, and it uses different frequencies, which are associated with different brain states. Binaural beats are a form of soundwave therapy that work by playing two slightly different frequencies into each ear, so you really need to be wearing headphones to experience the effects.
Your brain detects the difference between the two frequencies and interprets it as a third “beat” frequency. The third beat isn’t actually a frequency—it's created by your brain as it tries to make sense of the difference. This can help synchronize brainwave activity to that frequency, which may promote different mental states.
Remember you’ll need headphones. Check out Brain.FM, they have some interesting info on binaural beats for ADHD too.
Bonus: binaural beats can also help with nausea—I’ve used it when I had the flu. I’m curious to have a pregnant mama try it for infamous the morning sickness.
Music is such a powerful tool to alter our mood and emotions because you don’t have to understand it.
Years ago I read “This Is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession” by Daniel Levitin, who is a neuroscientist, as well as a cognitive psychologist, writer, and a former music producer. Levitin explains that music activates the same reward systems in the brain as food, sex, and drugs. Dopamine is released in response to pleasurable musical experiences, especially during moments of anticipation and resolution. This ties into our emotional responses to music, like chills and the unexpected tears.
I get the feels every time I listen to Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 in G major. It’s an experience, there’s a whole scene in my mind. You can probably think of a song that has that kind of indescribable effect on you.
Levitin breaks down music into its components: pitch, rhythm, melody, harmony, timbre, and dynamics. Our brains are wired to detect patterns and deviations, which is why repetition, variation, and surprise in music are so impactful.
Levitin explains that music perception involves nearly every part of the brain. From recognizing rhythm and pitch to evoking memories and emotions, music is a full-brain activity. The auditory cortex processes sound, while the cerebellum tracks rhythm and movement. The limbic system, especially the amygdala, helps process emotional responses to music.
So, let’s be mindful of the music we listen to. Because the limbic system is deeply involved in both trauma and healing, music can become a tool that can:
Regulate emotions
Evoke safe/positive memories
Offer release without requiring words
Shift the nervous system into a calmer state
-
If you’re newly postpartum you don’t want to be engaging your core, spreading your legs, or getting active too quickly. Try to stick with the 5-5-5 rule for optimum healing—5 days in bed (horizontal as much as possible so your tissues can knit back together and you can focus on bonding with your baby), 5 days on the bed (sitting up or resting on the bed), 5 days around the bed (staying around the home, maybe getting out to sit on the porch or in the yard, but avoiding a lot of stairs).
Journaling can be really helpful in this time. It can be special to write down your baby’s birth story while it’s still fresh. I have a friend who tells her kids their birth stories every year on the birthdays and they love it. I get that sometimes birth doesn’t go the way we anticipated and we’re left reeling and trying to process what’s happened. This is when journaling can be especially valuable to help you work through your experience so the brain doesn’t store it as a traumatic memory and you can move forward. Easier said than done. I’ve walked with a lot of women through challenging births and loss, healing is possible.
If you’re struggling, talk with trusted a friend or family member. Talking through your birth story can help you process by naming emotions and helping your brain move forward and integrate your experience.
When your body is ready, sitting outside for short periods of time or even having a couch moved to a porch so you can lie day can help change the scenery if you’re feeling really cooped up.
Remember there are a lot of changes taking place internally and in your life—you just gave birth. Your hormones are adjusting, your internal organs are shifting, your body is working to heal and find its new normal and keep a child alive now outside of the womb. There’s a lot going on! Give yourself grace.
Even if you had a beautiful birth and your newborn is thriving, it’s normal to struggle and feel the blues. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re worried about thoughts you’re having don’t be afraid to reach out to a counselor. There are therapists trained in birth trauma.
To Summarize:
Our brains are wired for healing—and the Lord invites us to participate in that healing daily. Whether it’s through movement, music, or renewing our minds in truth, we don’t have to stay stuck in survival mode. The tools I shared here are just starting points. Healing is layered and deeply personal. But it’s also possible. Keep leaning into curiosity, your body’s design, and most of all, the One who holds every thread together. Because health is holistic, one small step—physically or spiritually—can begin the rewiring process that Paul refers to as the renewing or transformation of our minds in Romans 12.
The Transforming Power of the Gospel
Romans 12:1-2 is such an appropriate charge for us to close out with, especially in light of the inundation of information and all the platforms we have to compare ourselves to other women on. We always have a reason to praise God. Worship is our weapon. Gratitude brings breakthrough because it changes our heart posture and opens our eyes to the incredible grace gift of God’s love that surrounds us at all times. So,
“Beloved friends, what should be our proper response to God’s marvelous mercies? To surrender yourselves to God to be his sacred, living sacrifices. And live in holiness, experiencing all that delights his heart. For this becomes your genuine expression of worship.
Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.”
